Alumni BBQ

Today's Parent.com has been my home for the last five years. Yes, I've been employeed in one company for the last five years of my life. Where has the time gone?

I graduated from highschool working at Today's Parent. I graduated from University working at Today's Parent. Unfortunately, I won't graduate from grad school working there, but I wish I was since I love/d my job.

I lucked out when I was 18. What started off as a co-op placement (I was the last one in the class to be placed somewhere) turned out to be an open door to various opportunities.

On Monday night, Kathy Bergen, our amazing leader decided to host an Alumni BBQ inviting the original TP.com crew. Frank went off to become a teacher and now lives in London. Jason wanted a more challenging career. Tracy wanted to be a mom. And now it is my turn. I want to be an editor. Kathy is left with a whole new team. For the longest time I felt guilty every time I wanted to leave. I felt like I owe her my whole life for giving me all these opportunities. It took me a long time to realize that she gave them to me because she saw potential. She knew I could do so much more than what I was doing. And now it is time to move on and find new challenges in life.

I was afraid I was going to be really emotional at the BBQ. I held back the tears. We had so much catching up to do that there wasn't much time to focus on just one topic -- the big move and what's going on with me and how I'm handling the departure from TP.

I'm not really handling it. I walk into the office and I want everything and everyone to just stop so I can take in my surroundings. I am mad at myself for leaving all of this behind. Where will I ever have it so good? Where will I ever find a more dedicated team? I need reassurance that I am not making a mistake. Why can't I tell myself that I am not making a mistake but I need people to do that for me?

I cannot believe that I will no longer have access to anything -- that I won't be making changes to the website. I need to start letting go or I'll drive myself insane finding all the "mistakes" of how things should be done.

It's tough letting go and the BBQ dinner was the first step. If we all met at a large gathering, it wouldn't be so intimate and we'd never get around to saying what we want too.

I am going to miss everyone I had the pleasure and honour to work with. I started as a teenager and each of my co-workers influenced my life and helped me grow into a mature, young individual who is ready to take chances and pursue her goals.

I am who I am because of the people who have crossed my paths. I will never forget them and I hope that our paths will cross again.

Now...to wipe the tears and write about the best part of the night.
They got me a little going away present. Vancouver map (cause I need one of those!). Vancouver & Victoria guidebook (turned to the nightlife section first!). Calendar. Fancy pen (when I decide to do my school work). Picture of the whole web team!
And the most important thing...an umbrella! Kathy bought the umbrella in Paris. It has the Chat Noir poster on it over and over again! I bought that poster in Paris during my great European adventure and brought it across Europe. I love that poster and now I have an umbrella. I will be so fashionable in Vancouver. Except, I heard locals do not wear high heals...sneakers only. Ouch.

Overall - an amazing night and I couldn't post something about it right away because I couldn't put all my feelings together. They've been scattered. They've been shaken up and expressing them has been difficult. I've just been able to cry.

I'm letting all of this go.