The Big Corp

The last 24 hours have now become a blur.

The Granville Island project turned into a 12 hours straight at the J school in the newsroom in front of computers yelling at programs to cooperate.

The class was given a three minute presentation or more like a showing-off explaining how certain programs work and what we were supposed to do with them. Then we were dropped into the deep end with stones in our pockets and told to swim.

To make matters worse, I only slept four hours the night before.

I got my cup of coffee at 2 p.m. when I ate my only meal - lunch!

By the time I got home, I just wanted to see my bed and nothing else. There was still one more assignment that I needed to do for today - I just couldn't.

Today the class was invited to sit in at the Vancouver Sun editorial meeting. The managing editor is our research professor.

Today has also been the first day since I left Rogers that I returned into the corporate environment. I was fine in the lobby. It was all glossy - like all souless lobbies.

When we got to the newsroom, I stopped. I saw the gray walls and couldn't take another step. It was like seeing a ghost. I was fine in the boardroom. But, when we got a tour of the floor, I started to feel chest pains. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand. I had no power to stand.

Then the editorial meeting. I didn't hear one word that was said. I was panicking. I was going to faint. I couldn't wait till it was over.

The chest pain let out when I exited the building. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

I thought two months without being in the corporate world would heal me from the grayness I ran away from. It didn't! Two months is not enough.

How will I ever go back?
Do I really have to go back?